Liars Hate Being Called Liars

topic posted Fri, February 3, 2006 - 5:53 PM by  Michael™
It has been my observation that liars really seem to despise being called liars. I can't imagine why; after all, they knew they'd get called on it when they did it. They knew there'd be consequences, such as being exposed as liars and/or being called such to their lying faces.

You'd think liars would grow thicker skins, be more mature about being called liars. But they don't. Why?
posted by:
  • It has been my observation that everyone hates being called a liar......which sometimes makes it hard to tell who's really lying. I haven't seen many folks in my life time that just suck it up and say, "yeah I lied." I know a guy who lied to me for months about some stuff and still to this day after all was exposed he has a hard time just saying "yeah I lied." Instead he says "I wasn't completely honest, I didn't think you needed to know, I just *avoided* the truth." etc..... As if avoiding the truth is somehow better than lying.
    I think it is just too hard for him to say to himself "I am a liar." In a way even though I don't trust him I have empathy because I know it is a hard thing to admit about yourself.
    • Unsu...
      Often it is really a case of dramaturlogical misreprestation, you know to be called a liar.

      Irving Goffman has much to say on this. If you ever get the chance to read up on his theories its pretty interesting. He was a bit of a radical. Liked to study devient behaviour. One of my favs during my studies in University.

    • The reason why people lie is to protect themselves (blame others, divert attention, make themselves look good, look like a victim).

      When you call them on it it's like you took off all their clothes in public.

      Recently I called someone on their lie about me (that I was a heroin addict - something that I've never been - but if I was I would have no problem admitting it as some of my best friends are ex-junkies).

      Instead of acknowledging that she had lied, she blogged that I was a stalker and spreading lies about her on tribe.
      Instead of apologizing she attacked me and said I was a sociopath.
    • > It has been my observation that everyone hates being called a liar

      This is only a sample size of one, but I don't necessarily mind being called a liar at all. It all depends on the tone and intentions of the person calling me a liar. I've previously confessed to being a liar in this tribe.
  • Unsu...
    I have to jump in here. I'm very straightforward, and couldn't lie well if I was paid. So I tell the truth and if people don't like it, well, whatever. When people have in the past intimated that I've lied, I get infuriated. I would imagine that other truth-tellers out there would also get really pissed off at being called a liar.

    I think everyone hates being called a liar. It's just that the ones who do carry the additional burden of guilt.
    • I have a reeeeally hard time believing people who say they don't lie. Often, I think the implication is that they NEVER lie. I just don't buy it. Are there people out there that are so absolutely dedicated to honesty/truth/justice that they NEVER lie? Perhaps, but I find it unlikely that we rounded them all up in this one tribe.

      There is also an assumption by those of us who feel righteous in our truth-telling skills, real or imagined, that people who tell lies are burdened with guilt or shame. I never could figure out why. I suppose the implication is that because we choose to tell the truth that we are somehow morally superior. There are inumerable situations in which telling the truth can be more harmful than lying outright or lying by omission. Take the age-old, "Do these jeans make my ass look big," question. Well, jeeze, I guess, as a righteous, truth-delivering sonofabitch, I'd tell you that it isn't the jeans that make your ass look big, but rather the gross excess of what appear to be potatos stuffed into them.

      To address the actual subject at hand, I think liars just don't like to be caught. I doubt very much that they are concerned with the, "rightness," or, "wrongness," of what they are doing. Rather, they are concerned with how getting busted is going to affect them.
      • I have a reeeeally hard time believing people who say they don't lie.

        I agree. I think I'm honest for the most part, but I can think of a handful of not truthful things I have said or done in the last few weeks. I don't think I am a "liar", but I do lie. Mostly lies of omission but still lies at the end of the day.
  • I think some liars believe their own lies so they don't see themselves as liars.
    • (New here - but had to jump in on this one ) What I find ironic is that it seems the most blatant liars are also the most unforgiving when it comes to someone else who lies to them.

      I knew someone like this - lived a whole complex web of lies for years but was over the top wrathful if anyone wasn't 100% truthful. And even sadder still is that because of living this way, this person was convinced that everyone else did too - so it didn't matter if you were being honest - they still didn't believe ya.

      I've gotten to the point in my life where I just don't want to expend the negative energy needed to maintain lies. I'd rather diplomatically tell the truth and get over the drama before the drama becomes a tragedy. I don't just never has seemed to be worth it. Besides, my face is an open book so I never get away with it anyway, lol.
      • >>(New here - but had to jump in on this one ) What I find ironic is that it seems the most blatant liars are also the most unforgiving when it comes to someone else who lies to them.<<

        Good point B. Many people who lie a lot get so caught up in it that they both can't deal with someone elses untruths, and they tend to disbeleive people just because they think lying is standard behavior.

        Also, welcome to the tribe. Nice to see you here. We've met before in the physical world, haven't we? Looking forward to more posts from you here.
        • Hey! You're THAT Rich - yes, we've met and know the same beautiful pixies I think. ;-D
          • ...because they are being call a hypocrite::

            "As witnesses not of our intentions but of our conduct, we can be true or false, and the hypocrite's crime is that he bears false witness against himself. What makes it so plausible to assume that hypocrisy is the vice of vices is that integrity can indeed exist under the cover of all other vices except this one. Only crime and the criminal, it is true, confront us with the perplexity of radical evil, but only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core." The Human Condition, Hannah Arendt.
  • Unsu...
    "You'd think liars would grow thicker skins, be more mature about being called liars. But they don't. Why?"

    Because they're chicken shit assholes, that's why they lie in the first place.

    Does THAT answer your querry?
    • Of course liars hate to be exposed. They are usually abusive in that exposure and they usually have something they know about you above you so you won't expose them. Everyone I was raised around were liars. If you even got close to exposing them, the wrath wasn't worth it. That's the number one abuse that alcoholics bestow upon children; making them lie for the family's sake in order not to expose. So children are taught that their intuition should not be trusted, that their parents, who begin and end the world are not to be trusted and that life will be full of purposful deceit. Lying is the most rediculous thing to use to protect something; but that's what drugs/addictions do; cloud thinking. When your body enjoys a high, of course your brain becomes re-wired to get more of that pleasure and that includes distorting reality. The reality is, you do NOT need to always feel that pleasure, but your system is greedy and becomes desperate.

      The worst drug for this is Meth. Once you use're pretty much a fiend to use it again. Sure you may be able to effectively NOT use it again, but your brain will do what it can to reduplicate that feeling. I believe it's worse than Heroin.

      but anyway, yeah liars' bark is usually worse than their bites. Well that's what a bark is, right? A lie about how tough something is. Once you expose a liar, they fall down like ten pins. Not that I recommend testing that, but sometimes that's the only way to expose to challenge them.

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