...has reared its ugly head once again. Why-oh-why do some people choose this over actual communication? In just the past week three of the adults in my life have created a bit of a cluster-fuck with passive-aggressive communication and I finally put my foot down and refused to engage with them on this level.

The first, ugliest and also most ridiculous scenario involves one of my roommates and two cat litter boxes. I generally clean the cat boxes once every two weeks, and use a 'pooper scooper' in the interim. But due to a hectic holiday catering schedule, the kiddo's all being out of school and the fact that I've had a runny nose and couldn't really smell the cat boxes, I was remiss in getting them thoroughly cleaned out on time. Enter my roommate who, after coming out of what I can only call a cycle of depression (not going to work, school and spending up to 16 hours a day in bed sleeping and spending his awake hours on his computer in his room) went into a cycle of mania. As far as I know he's never been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, just chronic depression for which he takes meds. Anyway, he suddenly had tons of energy and began several huge projects, including building an awesome snowboarding ramp in our backyard that starts at the roof of our garage! The kids have had a blast on it. But I woke up on Sunday to him cleaning out my cat litter boxes while wearing a bandana around his face. He was obviously disgusted and very irritated and I told him that he didn't have to do that and that I'd planed on doing it that day anyway as I had no clients and no plans other than housecleaning. Long story short (oops, too late) he didn't accept my offer and instead decided to berate me and then told me that several people he's spoken with about it told him it was a health issue and could make him sick to have to breathe in dirty cat waste. I don't disagree, and this is why I usually clean them out more frequently. But here's what I don't understand...if he had the time and energy to talk to several 'friends' about this, then why couldn't he find the time/energy to bring it to the attention of the one person that would've solved the problem (me)?

In any case, as passive-aggression often does, the communication snowballed into attack-defense mode and he, once again, threatened to move out. So this time, cuz I'm sick of him using this bully tactic on me, I called his bluff and said, "Okay. Perhaps that would be best for both of us". I don't think he took me seriously until the next day when I returned his rent to him and asked him how to go about switching the internet bill over to my name (everything else is already in my name).

The other case doesn't seem to involve me directly, but the two friends involved have more or less invoked me without conferring with me first. To be honest, I'm not even clear on the details. It seems to be about their friendship being a bit rocky (in general) and one of them works for me part time while the other one rents my attic space (almost her own separate apartment). And because I'm teh one in contact with both of them they've begun using me as their sounding board for their feelings about the other. When one called me yesterday and asked me is the other said [this or that], and then the other pulled me aside to day and asked the same damn thing, I realized that this was going somewhere ugly fast and I had no desire to be caught int he middle. So, i told them both not to discuss the other with me and that if they continued to do so, that I would have no recourse but to be open and honest about what the other was saying since they are ridiculously refusing to express themselves to each other. I don't know if that's really the *right* thing to do, but I am fucking sick of grown folks pulling this shit on each other and I flat out refuse to be a part of it. END OF GAME. DO NOT INSERT ANOTHER TOKEN.

whew

-K