*Ugh*
We've survived for 7 months against some seemingly insurmountable obstacles, but survive is the operative term right now...not thrive.

1-) Long distance relationship
2-) Business partners as well as lovers
3-) Both single parents (with opposing child custody schedules)
4-) Previous bad marriages and bitter divorces
5-) Financial instability, sometimes just one of us but often both of us
6-) Attempting an "open relationship" based on being each other's "primary"

Well, as you can see most of these work against each other in one way or another and the past three weeks have been pure hell. I think that if we had any two of these, possibly three depending on which one's, we'd be in a much more solid place. But at the moment I'm damn close to throwing in the proverbial towel...except for the business aspect because there are already too many other people totally depending on me. It feels as if we birthed this baby- the business- and just because we can't seem to nurture the intimacy aspect of our relationship doesn't mean we shouldn't still nurture, or co-parent, this baby. However, it's making it really tough to see all the boundaries clearly because we still have to be in near constant contact even though the more personal roles we play in each others lives seem to be dissolving.

Hindsight. Foresight. Either one would've been helpful. I just can't figure out when and how I lost my sight altogether. At least it's finally returning...through three weeks of tears, frustration, anger and some shattered trust.

*ugh*

-K