i decided it better to branch off from the other thread... as it was getting long, and this is rather spurious.
and this way, people know what they're getting into.

i won't go through everything you wrote in detail....... it's just too much and i'm getting kind of tired of this too..;)

mostly i want to say, thank you for calling me on being condescending. i've been told that before, it is something i really wish to overcome, and i appreciate being told.

i also want to say that i think in a way, with your experience of being subject to those strong advances, you have some idea of what might put my back up. now if you can multiply that experience by a hundred, and add a whole lot of new and creative ways to feel degraded and humiliated, we do understand one another.

i think one point that got lost somewhere in the cafuffle, was that i was not responding directly, or 'literally' to you and your comment, but in a more abstract and general way, to society........... and attitudes, which i felt were to some degree reflected in your comments. in a way, yes, i took the opportunity to expound on everything i think is wrong with the world........ it was a misunderstanding for you to feel attacked, because this was never my intention, although i take responsibility for not being clear enough about my intentions.

with regards to ignorance, i think we are all ignorant, myself included, and that was not (again) supposed to be a particular reflection of you.

with regards to the 'truth'........ well, i'm a follower in the footsteps of the likes of nietszche and foucault, so we won't get into the nature of truth because it will never end............ but, let me just say that because things ARE, because they exist a certain way, does not make them OK. for example, indigenous people in guatemala are currently subjected to brutally racist discrimination and segregation.... if an indigenous person makes the wrong move, does the wrong thing, there will be unpleasant consequences for her (or him). this is 'truth'... it is the way things are......... but that doesn't stop me resenting it, thinking it is wrong, and i will certainly not passively accept to live within the limitations of that 'truth'. i will fight it however i can.............. which is paltry, given that i am in canada............ but i think you get my point.

soooooooooo........... i could take my pictures down......... after this, i thought about it. but then i decided no, because that would be admitting defeat. that would be accepting the (i think) unjust limitations that are placed on my person as a result of my gender.
my favourite posters in my campus women's center are:
"if you love your gender, set it free."
and "the ground you are standing on is liberated territory, defend it."

so you see where i am coming from. i see better now where you are coming from, thank you for explaining it to me. you didn't have to take the time to do that, and i appreciate what it took, and takes, to engage in debate about these sometimes frustrating emotional topics. these things have a way of hitting close to home, and feeling personal... which i guess they are........ another feminist saying is "the personal is political"

ummmmmmmmmmm what else....... oh yah, i am not saying 'f-u a-hole for being attracted to me'. i think it is flattering when people think my photos are beautiful......... i guess.......... i make a distinction between my photos and my self though............ they are just images. i am me, sitting here, i am not captured in that screen, that is just an assortment of light impressions. i am 'in action'.
so, with regards to comments, i guess i distinguish between comments that i feel comfortable with and those i don't.
i don't mind when people say things like "hot body", or "nice pic" or "oooo sexy". or "yum yum" . or stuff like that. because that's just a straight forward expression of 'appreciation' and to me is basically harmless.
i guess, if we are going to pick it apart, what rang alarm bells for me about your comment was that it seemed ....... covert perhaps.
it seemed as though the 'nice body' comment was disguised as something else, and that kind of layering of meaning makes me suspicious.
whether or not your intentions were innocent, or indeed subversive, i am not in a position to judge. and i don't need to judge...... it is enough (for me) that i felt a certain reaction and decided, consciously and rationally, to act on it. yes, i decided to 'use' your comment as an example.
now, i make a very important distinction between 'using your comment' and 'using you', as the whipping boy of truth i believe you said. this gets back to the fact of taking things personally, which are not meant to be, and makes this some kind of personal battle, which it is not.

i did not take your comment on my photo personally (as in, i did not feel that it actually applied to my person, because my person is inside me, not the photo just like you are in you and not in your comments) once something has been interpreted by another person, it is no longer 'you'. it's 'them'. so it really isn't logical to take things personally. that's my quirky rendition of what you can learn in 'non-violent communication', or 'the four agreements' type stuff.

so anyway, my response to your response is/was an engagement at the abstract level........... does that make sense?


i think i'll stop there, because the rest is just semantics and petty squabbling... (at least on my part... heh)